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I feel for sorry myself being short sometimes

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shortforsome
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Vent
I feel for sorry myself being short sometimes
post #1
04-27-2021 at 08:18 pm

 

Hello guys. I registered a long while back and have just recently found myself back here. I'll just restate my height again if I haven't mentioned it before, I'm 5ft7 or close to 5ft8 (morning height). My father was close to 6ft tall and all my uncles on my father's side were about the same or slightly taller. My mother's side of the family were short. I'm taller than all of uncles and aunts on my mothers side. So genetically I went on my mothers side mostly and due to my father being slightly tall that problem pulled my height up to just under average I guess. I remember growing up through my teens being shorter than all of my friends and holding out hope that I'll have a major growth spurt. I waited and waited and waited some more, but it never really came.

I remember I had two classmates who were the same height as me at around 16 years of age that I hadn't seen in years, I saw them recently and I noticed they had major growth spurts with one reaching 6ft1 and the other touching 6ft4. I became conscious again about my height after seeing them, I just became bitter and sad for myself. I never had much luck with women who would always look past me towards my taller friends like I was invisible or not worthy of their attention, and I knew it was my height that had a part in this. I mean if you lack a bit of confidence already then being short for me anyway was the nail in the coffin. I'm much mature now and have had to force myself to come to terms with my poor genetics, but every now and again I feel sorry for myself that I am this way and have to vent.

I guess it's because society has put so much emphasis that being tall means you are perfect or something and that you are the superior hunter gatherer, whatever that means.

Sometimes I feel short, sometimes I don't care, but every now and then it hurts.

Last Edited By shortforsome (2021-04-27 20:21:33)

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Re: I feel for sorry myself being short sometimes
post #2
04-29-2021 at 04:15 pm

I hear ya loud and clear.  Try being 5'5" dude.  You just described my life in my 20's and 30's pretty much.  Having a growth-spurt or getting taller is pretty much a right of passage as a man, and when you don't get it, you feel cheated like hell.  Women don't have to worry about this...as being short and petite as a woman is praised and admired, but as a man, it's an absolute death sentence.  At least I felt that way.  I stayed unmarried and have no kids to this day, and deep down, I absolutely know that it was because of my height.  Think women were looking at a 5'5" guy to marry and settle down with when they're in their most fertile and beautiful years?  Nope.  Oh, I'm sure I could find one now that they have hit the wall, have Chad's kids, and are no longer in shape, but I an not looking for second pickings, and sure as hell am not going to "save" any of them.  I did however, go and get limb lengthening surgery.  It changed my life and perspective.  I'm now 5'8".  While I'm never going to get to the 6-foot club, it sure as hell feels good to not be the shortest *bleep* dude in every room now.  

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shortoldmd
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Re: I feel for sorry myself being short sometimes
post #3
06-14-2021 at 03:54 pm

I feel you, man.

It doesn't have to always suck, though. Hard truth: In a line-up situation like a bar or a party, we are nearly always going to be picked last or not at all, because height is so damn noticeable. The countermeasure: Avoid those situations - sure, go to parties and bars, just don't think of them as pick-up opportunities because, for us, they are not. Instead, try to find situations that require longer interactions - sports leagues or community service organizations, or even work. With a longer span of interactions height will become less of an issue - you are giving your other good qualities a chance to be seen. Of the women I have had relationships with - nearly all have come from these situations: 3 co-workers, 1 classmate, one friend-of-a-friend (was engaged to that one), and one blind date (my wife). Aside: there is no such thing as a real blind date anymore thanks to social media. 

I'm 5'4" but I have a lot going for me (I'm a doctor, well off financially, and athletic) - so that helps - but it did not keep me from having years-long dry spells when I was young. Younger women are a lot pickier - they imagine Chris Hemsworth/Pratt/Pine is just out there waiting for them. Women in their 30s and 40s stop caring so much about height. 

I too have felt that self-pity reflex kicking in. It's OK to sit with that for a while, but don't let it make you bitter. I am actually grateful that being an "incel" was not a thing when I was in my angry young man phase - that could have been bad. 

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