I have a younger brother who finally got a girlfriend and I am worried

Maid Marian
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I have a younger brother who finally got a girlfriend and I am worried
post #1

My younger brother is 5'5 and was never really a ladies' man but did have a few girlfriends while in high school. When he got to college he struggled a bit but had one girlfriend if I remember correctly.

When he graduated college and moved to another town he went through a long, long dry spell. It got to the point where our parents were worried whether he would marry, especially since I had a ton of boyfriends and eventually got married myself.

Anyway when he moved he became extremely depressed, had no luck with online dating and had no single female friends who were real. Women who befriended him usually used him for attention and or wanted favors but had no romantic interest. He did everything to improve himself. He went to the gym, joined a local baseball team and local meetup groups.

He finally met someone off of POF, but here is the clincher. The woman is 7 years older than him (he is 29, she is 36), has three kids, one from a marriage and two from two men she dated thereafter, she has an enormous amount of credit card and student loan debt and has major impulses. She is the type to not be reflective and blames other people or entities for her problems

I think my brother is blinded by his previous depression and being lonely for so long. 

My brother is smart and extremely successful. He seems happy and I don't want to drop a ton of bricks on him by meddling. 

Should I wait on the sidelines and just be happy for him or should I intervene and try to open his eyes?

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Re: I have a younger brother who finally got a girlfriend and I am worried
post #2

Do you name the age difference cause you think it is to far of a gap?
Women tend to do the same, you often see a 5, 6, 7, 8 and even a far larger year gap, which is considered okay, and natural, why shouldnt it be okay when men do the same?
But she does seems as being in a bad position, which i think attracted them to each other in the first place. 

Your brother is probably madly in love with her, as he previously being in a depression.
Its a very dangerous combo to meet someone when in a depression, i've been there, and know others who have. And the love they find during that period, does never ever end, even if it wasnt mutually. 

Unfortunately these are the kind of women that short guys very often attract, and it can sometimes be hard and even prove to be a challenge to find something that is higher in the social hierarchy.

I think you should be careful, my advice would be, not to say anything directly, but sorta talk to him about his relationship and how she is as a person, and get some gossip insight, so you can point out some things in a gentle fassion that should be dislikeable about it, and not okay! And hopefully passively open his eyes.

The way you describe her, being with her is not a rational decision. So he must be blind.

Last Edited By multinational (2018-07-13 19:49:35)