Costumes - one size fits all?

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gymshorts
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Costumes - one size fits all?
post #1

I was recently asked to portray a historical figure in a skit at a re-enactment, and heartily agreed to, because I do that sort of thing well-- and especially because in real life, ages ago, the man I would be portraying was also 5'4".  Perfect fit, eh?  I was asked to send a complete set of measurements so that the costume could be made just for me, since I was the perfect size for the role.  Well, I arrived at the re-enactment yesterday to don my costume, and guess what?  The organizer hands me the costume...you guessed it...perfectly tailored for a 'real man' that's about 5"10 or so.  Yup, there was the long robe draping an extra 6 or 7" onto the floor, beyond my shoes. And there I am holding in my disappointment, insult, humiliation, and anger.  

Folks, the show must go on.  I and my wonderful wife snuck away silently and quickly, and she hemmed it up 7" so that it fit me.  I re-appeared in a fitting costume and did an outstanding job of playing my role, much to the delight of all involved, and with nary a word from me revealing my honest feelings.  

Just another classic moment of one of us misfit underlings having to cope with the unsympathetic empire of 'regular sizes.' 

I was told that, even though I am going to use it indefinitely, just in case someday in the future someone taller played the role of a man everyone knows was 5'4", the costume would be big enough.  OK-- I get the practicality.  So, all they had to do to spare my feelings (not to mention the panic just before show time) was to have it hemmed correctly for me ahead of time.   

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ThatFlyShortGuy
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Re: Costumes - one size fits all?
post #2

Was the historical figure James Madison? Nice story! I think the idiocy lies in the people who didn't follow the measurements! 

How long have you been married and how did you meet your wife? How tall is she?

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gymshorts
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Re: Costumes - one size fits all?
post #3

No, not Madison-- though i would love to do that role someday-- someone from church history that you're probably unfamiliar with.

I've been happily married for 32 years. My wife and I met through a church-sponsored singles group, which in our day in the 1980s spawned 19 couples in 6 years.  She finds tall men overbearing, scary, threatening.... she wanted a husband who was small but well-built and creative and funny.  I was looking for a woman who was those things as well, and one who loved me regardless of my size.  She likes what's in my head, not how far off the ground it is.  she's 5'2". 

Yes, I was quite frustrated with the woman who didn't follow the measurements. It's a microcosm of the entire life of a short guy in one incident: The world serves up a one size fits all attitude. We get 'short-changed' and we're expected to handle it graciously. We have to be the ones to make up for others' lack of sensitivity, and make the best of an insulting situation.  People are pleased with our stellar performance. ("How could a guy that short be SO competent??")  It's our whole life...