what option is better for me ?
This is a multiple choice poll.
Poll Expired: 31-Aug-2018
1
80% of voters (4 Votes)
2
20% of voters (1 Votes)
5 Total votes

Advice me regarding my romantic life

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notmyrealname160
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advice me regarding my romantic life
post #1

Hallo everyone, I just registerd here after some depression and searching for someone can understand me and may help because its mostly not worth ask opinion of person not in our shoes. 

in summery I am now 29, never was in relationship, 160 cm, i am very satisfied with my personality now, confidence, career path succ, acceptance of myself, ... etc

as everyone similer i feel lonely and obviously everyone needs someone to love and be loved, make adventures together, when i was younger i didnt care as now about it, so lately i get into circle of trying, recieving negative replies, get deppressed then recover and go again to meet friends and do things other than work, be fine and trying and again depressed ... etc

i obviously do not have the luck to meet a nice girl who i will like for what she is and vice versa, this currently affecting my social life and my feeling for going out and being social and loving life in general. 
because of everything before, i am really stuck between 2 options:
1- keep this cycle and hopefully i meet a girl and wont be lonely. 
2- get my thoughts to get used to live my life not wanting any relation. 
both options has pros and cons, as first one will let me maybe find someone so i will not be lonely when i am old (i mean older than now and will maybe experience a relationship thing). but everything is maybe and will experience much depression in cycles.
second option if succeeded to train mind, will be better on other sides, focusing on improving myself in many things other than dating and relationships side. but i will be always maybe alone. 
hopefully to receive opinion from similer cases around 160cm big_smile 
 

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minilinebacker
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Re: advice me regarding my romantic life
post #2

Hi and welcome to the forum! I honestly believe that you have to truly be ready to hear some different perspectives on this. 

You are one inch shorter than me and I will not lie when I tell you that it is rough being a short man, especially when you have men 4-5 inches taller than you (which is still considered short) dealing out similar frustrations.

If I could select option one and two I would. One is at the core of being a man. We are the pursuers. Some of us have natural advantages and thus will have more of the ones being pursued interested in our come ons. Then there is the rest of us. We have to try harder and have to deal with the soul crushing feeling of rejection. It can become depressing. You have to remember that you are not alone in feeling this way and being in your shoes.

Number two is just as important because as men we have to possess a strong core and that means not making women the center of our universe. They are supposed to compliment us, not be the our lives.

 

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Suarez223
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Re: advice me regarding my romantic life
post #3

Rejection sucks but nobody cares about men's issues, so we have to suck it up 

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notmyrealname160
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Re: advice me regarding my romantic life
post #4

Thanks for your supporting opinion,  minilinebacker i also think too both options should be together, as not focusing on having a relationship and take the chances to try when meetiing a girl by chance that i like and she is super nice and smart, thats depends on my luck to meet these girls but as i am Computer engineer, its rarely to find big_smile but i am in a state that i will not go search for a girl in pub, event, ... trying hard with girls that are not giving me eqaul chance to taller guys for meeting alone, is not an option especially when she is obviously less smart than me and even not really beuaty. 

at end in my case i should also mentally accept living alone and not having life goal of relationship or familly or kids, although if it happens somehow by having a luck would be nice. 

 

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igotu226
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Re: advice me regarding my romantic life
post #5

Quote:

Originally posted by notmyrealname160 

at end in my case i should also mentally accept living alone and not having life goal of relationship or family or kids, although if it happens somehow by having a luck would be nice. 

 

It doesn't have to be this gloomy. I think the point is that we as men (particularly short men) have to put our goals and core values ahead of procreation and relationships. Those should be seen as icing on the cake and a byproduct of our productivity. 

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marshal
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Re: advice me regarding my romantic life
post #6

I think I would choose the second option as I did it already and I'm pretty satisfied with it. I no longer think about having a relationship with a woman. I'm done.

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multinational
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Re: advice me regarding my romantic life
post #7

The harder you try, the harder its gonna get. Relationships are not worthy of the hype that it is getting from movies, social medias etc.


If you continue looking, its gonna get more difficult to find the one. The more you meet, the higher your criteria is gonna get <- trust me, I am there already.
And you will quickly figure out, that its all the same. Women tend to have the same fundametal values, and are all the same deep down in their core.
Besides the depression will eventually create hatred, and you will end op disliking the avarage female.

Getting rejected is something we all endure, and god have i had some worthy of a facekick.
 

I think a mix of both of the options will be the best. Find something that you really like, doesnt matter if its your job, working out, or whatever that can be a hardcore hoppy to forfill that void that you are living in.
But at the same time, still be looking, just "half-hearted" if that makes sense.

Make a hoppy your first prority and then dating the last.
For me, online dating worked the best, write your height, and let the matchmaking begin.
No need to spend time at a nightclub or a bar, just use some random free app and have fun with it.

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BrickOdyssey
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Re: advice me regarding my romantic life
post #8

Man rule #1 - Women compliment you, they aren't the reason why you do what you do.

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