Comments we endure every day

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gymshorts
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Comments we endure every day
post #1

Yesterday I had the classic squeeze play.  A work team was visiting at my office and I was giving a tour. One fellow, Jim Smith, introduced himself and we hit it off great, mostly because I could speak eye-to-eye with him--  he was only 5’5”.   But another member of the crowd, a loud-mouthed, full-of-herself woman in the crowd, named Sandra, was yammering about all kinds of things.  She was about 5’10”, so I had already surmised that her father and any brothers must be ‘big’ men. "Real men."  Then someone pointed out that she happened to have a brother who is also named Jim Smith.  In a flash I could see exactly where this was going to go; she did not disappoint me.  “Well, but, MY brother is six foot five (with hand demonstration) and he’s so much taller and blah, blah, blah….”  I swiftly, just shy of rudeness, switched the subject to something completely different before she could finish, and seized control of the conversation. The end of her height boasting was covered over by my talking, so it died in the air.  Whew.  The things we endure.

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Re: Comments we endure every day
post #2

You handled this fantastically. What do you do for a living? (I may have asked you that before). 

Also, not to rock the boat, but why didn't you challenge her? I may have pressed her and said, "could you imagine if I said, yeah but my sister is suuupppeerrrrr thin and young" or something like that.

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Re: Comments we endure every day
post #3

I'm in academia - a college VP. That beats all the odds.  In business, sports, politics, and show biz, I was pretty much locked out, but I figured that I could make it in a realm where I was valued by what was in my head, not how far up it was.

The team that was visiting that day was a group of volunteers.  My objective was to put them to work, not cause offense, so I knew I had to be sly about shutting down the height boasting.  It worked.  It accomplished what I wanted-- silence the height discussion without being rude.  

In other situations I have been much more direct about shutting down unnecessary bullying about height.  I also carefully avoid certain people whom I know to be given to always bringing up my lack of size-- the same people who judge others by obvious things like money and height, and are blind to what matters like character, accomplishments, and morality.  Ay-iyiy.

At a big family gathering last weekend I had a wonderful time - my relatives obviously are my size, for the most part. All the men were 5'4 to 5'8. What a great day - no height issues all day long, just having fun and standing around speaking eye to eye with my cousins.  We even talked about my wife's uncle who was a WWII hero - a jet fighter shot down in the Pacific-- and he was 5"5" and slight build - perfect for fitting into a plane cockpit.  

Contrast that with my day at work yesterday when just by chance I ended up in a room under construction at our college (I'm the one in charge, mind you) with 4 workers all 6'2".  How uncomfortable for me, but they were all good friends, kind, jolly men, who would never bring up the height issue.  I am very blessed to be around such people.

 

 

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Re: Comments we endure every day
post #4

Quote:

Originally posted by gymshorts

I'm in academia - a college VP. That beats all the odds.  In business, sports, politics, and show biz, I was pretty much locked out, but I figured that I could make it in a realm where I was valued by what was in my head, not how far up it was.

The team that was visiting that day was a group of volunteers.  My objective was to put them to work, not cause offense, so I knew I had to be sly about shutting down the height boasting.  It worked.  It accomplished what I wanted-- silence the height discussion without being rude.  

In other situations I have been much more direct about shutting down unnecessary bullying about height.  I also carefully avoid certain people whom I know to be given to always bringing up my lack of size-- the same people who judge others by obvious things like money and height, and are blind to what matters like character, accomplishments, and morality.  Ay-iyiy.

At a big family gathering last weekend I had a wonderful time - my relatives obviously are my size, for the most part. All the men were 5'4 to 5'8. What a great day - no height issues all day long, just having fun and standing around speaking eye to eye with my cousins.  We even talked about my wife's uncle who was a WWII hero - a jet fighter shot down in the Pacific-- and he was 5"5" and slight build - perfect for fitting into a plane cockpit.  

Contrast that with my day at work yesterday when just by chance I ended up in a room under construction at our college (I'm the one in charge, mind you) with 4 workers all 6'2".  How uncomfortable for me, but they were all good friends, kind, jolly men, who would never bring up the height issue.  I am very blessed to be around such people.

 

 

Amazed by your career accomplishments. You talked about being valued more for your mind in academia, but have you experienced heightism in academia?

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Re: Comments we endure every day
post #5

You asked about heightism in academia-- no, I am not aware of any in my experience.  As I said, I am very blessed to have such great colleagues and support staff people to work with.  

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Re: Comments we endure every day
post #6

Quote:

Originally posted by gymshorts

You asked about heightism in academia-- no, I am not aware of any in my experience.  As I said, I am very blessed to have such great colleagues and support staff people to work with.  

 

FYI, in my experiences, heightism is quite rare in the law field.  -Pre-law student

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Re: Comments we endure every day
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Quote:

Originally posted by unknown

Quote:

Originally posted by gymshorts

You asked about heightism in academia-- no, I am not aware of any in my experience.  As I said, I am very blessed to have such great colleagues and support staff people to work with.  

 

FYI, in my experiences, heightism is quite rare in the law field.  -Pre-law student

I remember watching an episode of Law & Order SVU where at the end of a trial, the Prosecutor (female) went on and about a man's "Napoleon Complex". I'd wager that height is brought up regularly (depending on where in law) to help paint a picture. What do you think?

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Re: Comments we endure every day
post #8

Here's another classic squeeze play:  I was at a funeral and had the displeasure of suddenly bumping into an old acquaintance, Bob, who feels compelled to bring up my height every time I have the misfortune of meeting him.  He's a big, fleshy, plushy, overweight 6'2" and very full of himself.  We were standing in the reception line, and I had not seen him since my children were preschoolers.  So he sees me standing next to my eldest son who, thank God, is 5'11", and he blurts out, "That's your son?  Where did he get his height from?"  Now, I was sorely tempted to glare at him and retort, "The milkman,"  But I controlled my temper. I immediately turned to my son and said, "This is Bob. We knew him ages ago when we used to...."  I never even acknowledged that he asked the question.  And when I finished my sentence, I walked away.  

The things we have to endure every day.

Last Edited By gymshorts (2017-09-04 07:29:33)

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Re: Comments we endure every day
post #9

Quote:

Originally posted by R2D2

Quote:

Originally posted by unknown

Quote:

Originally posted by gymshorts

You asked about heightism in academia-- no, I am not aware of any in my experience.  As I said, I am very blessed to have such great colleagues and support staff people to work with.  

 

FYI, in my experiences, heightism is quite rare in the law field.  -Pre-law student

I remember watching an episode of Law & Order SVU where at the end of a trial, the Prosecutor (female) went on and about a man's "Napoleon Complex". I'd wager that height is brought up regularly (depending on where in law) to help paint a picture. What do you think?

R2D2--  Probably so. I hadn't ever thought of it or noticed it.  

What galls me is TV shoes and movies wherein the short man is always the inferior one, the goofball, the nerd, the angry loudmouth, the loser.  Seinfeld's George Costanza is a classic example.  Sienfeld (normal height) is clever, witty, attractive.  George (5'4") goofs up everything and is emotional and childish, a real loser, in most circumstances.  Have you ever seen the movie Arthur?  Hollywood asserts that Arthur is only believable as a character who is childish and immature because he is played by Dudley Moore, who was 5'3".  All the other men are big men, real men, mature men.  Arthur works as a movie only because the audience buys into Arthur's childlike nature based on his height.  It's sickening.

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Re: Comments we endure every day
post #10

To gymshorts and ThatFlyshortGuy

I wish I had your quick minds.  But the response from ThatflyshorGuy is great, but needs to be improved.  Such as "My girlfriend is a DD, and she is 6 inches shorter than you, or "My sister and mother both are D cups, and you are so much bigger, what happened to you?"  

 

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