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neveragain
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Hello...
post #1

Hello everyone!
So, I was informed about this site and thought I'd check it out. Interesting, I must admit. I am a 5'4 female, who was previously married to a man who claimed he was 5'8, but in actuality was approximately 5'3. Never called him out on it because I loved him and didn't want to make him feel bad about his insecurities. However, based of that one traumatic experience, I highly doubt I will EVER date a short man again, hence my username NEVERAGAIN. His height issues had an effect of many aspects of his life, which is why I call it "traumatic". I've only dated taller men (5'11 and up) since and even they have had height insecurities (believe it or not).
Anyhow, one of the main reasons I could never see myself with another short man again is because of them being so insecure, which is an EXTREME turn off to me. I understand everyone has their insecurities, but I feel that height is one of those issues that you cant do much about, so get the hell over it and focus on something else.

 

 

 

 

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minilinebacker
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Re: Hello...
post #2

Quote:

Originally posted by neveragain

Hello everyone!
So, I was informed about this site and thought I'd check it out. Interesting, I must admit. I am a 5'4 female, who was previously married to a man who claimed he was 5'8, but in actuality was approximately 5'3. Never called him out on it because I loved him and didn't want to make him feel bad about his insecurities. However, based of that one traumatic experience, I highly doubt I will EVER date a short man again, hence my username NEVERAGAIN. His height issues had an effect of many aspects of his life, which is why I call it "traumatic". I've only dated taller men (5'11 and up) since and even they have had height insecurities (believe it or not).
Anyhow, one of the main reasons I could never see myself with another short man again is because of them being so insecure, which is an EXTREME turn off to me. I understand everyone has their insecurities, but I feel that height is one of those issues that you cant do much about, so get the hell over it and focus on something else.

 

 

 

 

Welcome to the site. Pretty much disregarding everything I read here because I'm pretty sure that you'd never say "I will never date a man 5'11 and up again because they are all insecure". Even if all short men "got over" their insecurities (which height might not be one of), society will continue to go on with the "short for a guy = bad" narrative and it will be something he will have to deal with. You are clearly blaming short men for their issues and not blaming the root cause of it which is external, not internal.

Go and tell black women to get over their dark skin insecurities and to "get over it" since they can't do anything about their situation either or disabled people or homosexuals for that matter. 

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Re: Hello...
post #3

Quote:

Originally posted by minilinebacker

Quote:

Originally posted by neveragain

Hello everyone!
So, I was informed about this site and thought I'd check it out. Interesting, I must admit. I am a 5'4 female, who was previously married to a man who claimed he was 5'8, but in actuality was approximately 5'3. Never called him out on it because I loved him and didn't want to make him feel bad about his insecurities. However, based of that one traumatic experience, I highly doubt I will EVER date a short man again, hence my username NEVERAGAIN. His height issues had an effect of many aspects of his life, which is why I call it "traumatic". I've only dated taller men (5'11 and up) since and even they have had height insecurities (believe it or not).
Anyhow, one of the main reasons I could never see myself with another short man again is because of them being so insecure, which is an EXTREME turn off to me. I understand everyone has their insecurities, but I feel that height is one of those issues that you cant do much about, so get the hell over it and focus on something else.

 

 

 

 

Welcome to the site. Pretty much disregarding everything I read here because I'm pretty sure that you'd never say "I will never date a man 5'11 and up again because they are all insecure". Even if all short men "got over" their insecurities (which height might not be one of), society will continue to go on with the "short for a guy = bad" narrative and it will be something he will have to deal with. You are clearly blaming short men for their issues and not blaming the root cause of it which is external, not internal.

Go and tell black women to get over their dark skin insecurities and to "get over it" since they can't do anything about their situation either or disabled people or homosexuals for that matter. 

Co-Sign. You will never hear a woman say "never again will I date a guy taller than me because he was insecure" or behaved like yadda yadda.

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neveragain
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Re: Hello...
post #4

Quote:

Originally posted by joshbaskins

Quote:

Originally posted by minilinebacker

Quote:

Originally posted by neveragain

Hello everyone!
So, I was informed about this site and thought I'd check it out. Interesting, I must admit. I am a 5'4 female, who was previously married to a man who claimed he was 5'8, but in actuality was approximately 5'3. Never called him out on it because I loved him and didn't want to make him feel bad about his insecurities. However, based of that one traumatic experience, I highly doubt I will EVER date a short man again, hence my username NEVERAGAIN. His height issues had an effect of many aspects of his life, which is why I call it "traumatic". I've only dated taller men (5'11 and up) since and even they have had height insecurities (believe it or not).
Anyhow, one of the main reasons I could never see myself with another short man again is because of them being so insecure, which is an EXTREME turn off to me. I understand everyone has their insecurities, but I feel that height is one of those issues that you cant do much about, so get the hell over it and focus on something else.

 

 

 

 

Welcome to the site. Pretty much disregarding everything I read here because I'm pretty sure that you'd never say "I will never date a man 5'11 and up again because they are all insecure". Even if all short men "got over" their insecurities (which height might not be one of), society will continue to go on with the "short for a guy = bad" narrative and it will be something he will have to deal with. You are clearly blaming short men for their issues and not blaming the root cause of it which is external, not internal.

Go and tell black women to get over their dark skin insecurities and to "get over it" since they can't do anything about their situation either or disabled people or homosexuals for that matter. 

Co-Sign. You will never hear a woman say "never again will I date a guy taller than me because he was insecure" or behaved like yadda yadda.

Well, since you both would like to go off topic. Black women have UNFORTUNATELY been bleaching their skin, so lately that has been a solution for them. Disabled people (whom I actually work with) can get various types of therapies to help along with a lot of their disabilities. As for homosexuals, some have been choosing to be "down low" which for them has been a solution. 
As for ME PERSONALLY, not too long ago I stopped dating a man whom was 6'2 and insecure about everything under the sun, height just so happened to NOT be one of his insecurities. Therefore I definitely disagree with the fact that you guys are blaming external issues, instead of admitting that it is mostly internal.
People can only use someone's insecurity against them, if you allow them. When it came to my ex, because of him being insecure, he became extremely jealous of me having male friends because they just so happen to be taller, which then led to him trying to "forbid" me to have male acquaintances, which then led to him not wanting me to even have female friends because that would "influence me" and blah blah. Even after I ended things with him, when he first found out that I started dating someone else, his first question was, how tall is he? And let me mention the BIGGEST issue I have with my ex, he has become jealous of our son because he has passed us both in height.
I just don't understand why a man who may have so much more going on for him, would allow external things such as peoples criticism of them, affect them so much. I actually know a guy who is about 5'1 or 5'2 and he could care less about his height. He has accepted that most females he goes after are going to be taller than him. Instead, he focuses on other things in life that matter more.
OK. Enough of me writing novels LOL

 

 

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Re: Hello...
post #5

 

Originally posted by neveragain

Quote:

Well, since you both would like to go off topic. Black women have UNFORTUNATELY been bleaching their skin, so lately that has been a solution for them. Disabled people (whom I actually work with) can get various types of therapies to help along with a lot of their disabilities. As for homosexuals, some have been choosing to be "down low" which for them has been a solution. 
As for ME PERSONALLY, not too long ago I stopped dating a man whom was 6'2 and insecure about everything under the sun, height just so happened to NOT be one of his insecurities. Therefore I definitely disagree with the fact that you guys are blaming external issues, instead of admitting that it is mostly internal.
People can only use someone's insecurity against them, if you allow them. When it came to my ex, because of him being insecure, he became extremely jealous of me having male friends because they just so happen to be taller, which then led to him trying to "forbid" me to have male acquaintances, which then led to him not wanting me to even have female friends because that would "influence me" and blah blah. Even after I ended things with him, when he first found out that I started dating someone else, his first question was, how tall is he? And let me mention the BIGGEST issue I have with my ex, he has become jealous of our son because he has passed us both in height.
I just don't understand why a man who may have so much more going on for him, would allow external things such as peoples criticism of them, affect them so much. I actually know a guy who is about 5'1 or 5'2 and he could care less about his height. He has accepted that most females he goes after are going to be taller than him. Instead, he focuses on other things in life that matter more.
OK. Enough of me writing novels LOL

Get your point but you still aren't disqualifying men taller than you or tall because of their "insecurities". So what if a guy is insecure about his height? Go find a guy who is short and isn't insecure about his height, or just be honest and say you don't find short guys attractive. I think the point everyone is making is that you are disqualifying all short guys because of your experiences with the short guys you've met but would never use the same approach to men who are tall. 

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neveragain
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Re: Hello...
post #6

Quote:

Get your point but you still aren't disqualifying men taller than you or tall because of their "insecurities". So what if a guy is insecure about his height? Go find a guy who is short and isn't insecure about his height, or just be honest and say you don't find short guys attractive. I think the point everyone is making is that you are disqualifying all short guys because of your experiences with the short guys you've met but would never use the same approach to men who are tall. 

COMPLETELY DISAGREE...maybe it is based off of my experience, but if time and time again I come across short men whose first approach is, "I know I may not have a chance with u because I'm short..." then I take that as a red flag of this being a long term issue. Why does that have to be the first thing coming out of a short mans mouth? I'm 5'4, so most men are usually taller than I am. I never had an issue with it, 'til they made it an annoying issue. If I were to consistently came across dudes that were over 6 feet tall and felt awkward about their height (and trust me they exist), then it would probably go the same way. I know this may sound cliché, but I truly check for a guys mental state of mind. So for me to say that I am not physically attracted to a short guy because he's short would be a lie. My last ex who was 5'11 was not great looking when it came to physical, cause had he been I would've found him attractive from the first day we met.

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minilinebacker
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Re: Hello...
post #7

Quote:

Originally posted by neveragain

COMPLETELY DISAGREE...maybe it is based off of my experience, but if time and time again I come across short men whose first approach is, "I know I may not have a chance with u because I'm short..." then I take that as a red flag of this being a long term issue. Why does that have to be the first thing coming out of a short mans mouth? I'm 5'4, so most men are usually taller than I am. I never had an issue with it, 'til they made it an annoying issue. If I were to consistently came across dudes that were over 6 feet tall and felt awkward about their height (and trust me they exist), then it would probably go the same way. I know this may sound cliché, but I truly check for a guys mental state of mind. So for me to say that I am not physically attracted to a short guy because he's short would be a lie. My last ex who was 5'11 was not great looking when it came to physical, cause had he been I would've found him attractive from the first day we met.

If time and time again I come across dark skin women who always talk about race then I should take that as a red flag of this being a long term issue. If time and time again I come across women who have kids who have troublesome relationships with the father of their kids, then I should take that as a red flag of this being a long term issue. If time and time again I come across women who are fat and are always insecure about their weight, then I should take that as a red flag of this being a long term issue. If time and time again I come across... 

The internalization of the insecurity comes from outside influence, just like the dark skin complexes, weight complexes and everything else. The difference is you like other people always blame the short guy and not the bias that creates the problem. 

If there were no such thing as a height bias or heightism then short men wouldn't have to feel that way, and the "never again" mindset is why short men who are not "insecure" about their height will be invisible to you. 

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Re: Hello...
post #8

You guys are preaching to the choir. Another woman burned by a short guy so now all short guys are to blame. It's like a broken record:

Short guy beats woman, woman says "I'll never date short guys again, NAPOLEON COMPLEX!"

Tall guy beats woman, woman says "That guy was a jerk! Time to find me a REAL MAN, but he has to be tall, dark and handsome"

Nothing hear boys. Likely a troll who never dated a short guy or worst yet a guy posing as a woman to rustle everyone's feathers.

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Re: Hello...
post #9

Quote:

Originally posted by minilinebacker

Quote:

Originally posted by neveragain

COMPLETELY DISAGREE...maybe it is based off of my experience, but if time and time again I come across short men whose first approach is, "I know I may not have a chance with u because I'm short..." then I take that as a red flag of this being a long term issue. Why does that have to be the first thing coming out of a short mans mouth? I'm 5'4, so most men are usually taller than I am. I never had an issue with it, 'til they made it an annoying issue. If I were to consistently came across dudes that were over 6 feet tall and felt awkward about their height (and trust me they exist), then it would probably go the same way. I know this may sound cliché, but I truly check for a guys mental state of mind. So for me to say that I am not physically attracted to a short guy because he's short would be a lie. My last ex who was 5'11 was not great looking when it came to physical, cause had he been I would've found him attractive from the first day we met.

If time and time again I come across dark skin women who always talk about race then I should take that as a red flag of this being a long term issue. If time and time again I come across women who have kids who have troublesome relationships with the father of their kids, then I should take that as a red flag of this being a long term issue. If time and time again I come across women who are fat and are always insecure about their weight, then I should take that as a red flag of this being a long term issue. If time and time again I come across... 

The internalization of the insecurity comes from outside influence, just like the dark skin complexes, weight complexes and everything else. The difference is you like other people always blame the short guy and not the bias that creates the problem. 

If there were no such thing as a height bias or heightism then short men wouldn't have to feel that way, and the "never again" mindset is why short men who are not "insecure" about their height will be invisible to you. 

But lets be realistic, when dating, are we not looking for red flags? All those issues you mentioned are valid reasons for one to believe that if you consistently come across people of a certain type of internal problem, then don't tell me you wouldn't honestly believe that a good majority of them may be the same. For example, lets just say you had frequently dated women with weight issues, those can be long term problems that can then turn into something else. What if every time another woman passes by who just happens to be slimmer, she accuses you of wanting or looking at them? Can this not eventually turn into a bigger issue, even though you truly never cared about her weight?

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Re: Hello...
post #10

Quote:

Originally posted by ThatFlyShortGuy

You guys are preaching to the choir. Another woman burned by a short guy so now all short guys are to blame. It's like a broken record:

Short guy beats woman, woman says "I'll never date short guys again, NAPOLEON COMPLEX!"

Tall guy beats woman, woman says "That guy was a jerk! Time to find me a REAL MAN, but he has to be tall, dark and handsome"

Nothing hear boys. Likely a troll who never dated a short guy or worst yet a guy posing as a woman to rustle everyone's feathers.

So let's see. You guys don't like to be stereotyped, but you're here stereotyping me by ASSUMING that, not only am I a "troll", but that I've been burned by a short guy (which has definitely NOT the case). So based on this post, should I assume that you're slow and that all short men are slow, since we're now making assumptions? How about you learn the difference between "hear" and "here" first and then get back to me with a better response.

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