How do You Guys Carve an Identity?

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shortscot
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Dating
How do You Guys Carve an Identity?
post #1

Hi guys,

So i'm new, think its cool there is a forum for this - seems there is one for everything else. Im only 5ft4 (sigh).

Basically in school when everyone shot up past me circa the age of 15, it became a nightmare. My height was always brought up and the butt of a few jokes.

However, I went to university and suddenly it wasn't that big a deal. Guys never brought it up or laughed, there were loads of other short guys. Woman didn't care. Infact I've had a tonne of success dating/hook up wise here.

I feel like the girls at uni are so much more cultured and intellectual, they aren't as superficial as the hometown girls. I dunno.

 

Anyway, im leaving this year and it is worrying me. I won't be on the student social scene and I feel i'l flounder in the 'real world'.

 

How do i carve out an identity? It just feels like short guys can't really be anything. You can't be the strapping athletic guy, or the cool alternative dude. Your just.....short.

 

Dating seems like it will be hard. There isn't the social scene of student life. You're in the working world full time. In nightclubs i notice that it is very hard for short guys to get attention. The girls flock round taller guys - even if they are really ugly.

 

I've been successful on Tinder (in terms of matches). Woman do find me attractive but they obviously don't know my height. In decent shoes I'l reach 5ft6 but that's nothing. I worry about going on dates and feel im not good enough for them. Even though im funny, athletic, ok looking and intelligent. It just feels like height is the top trump.

 

How do you guys cope?

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ThatFlyShortGuy
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Re: How do You Guys Carve an Identity?
post #2

Hey. Welcome to the forum! To answer your question, your college experience was different because the circle of people who attended your college was vastly larger than the people who went with you to High School (which were most likely zoned or travel from nearby neighborhoods). This means more of everything whether it's height, race, ethnicity, etc.

Dating is hard for everyone. It's no secret that it is harder for short guys, but it just means that you have to be more unique to stand out. This means whatever your niche is, be about that. Confidence will come from being successful with whatever it is you are good at. Tinder is a screw fest and most any woman you meet on there has screwing in the back of her mind (like any of us). If you are looking for a quality person, Tinder is probably not the place for that. 

I personally see nothing wrong with playing your height up an inch or two, but don't go beyond that. Otherwise, you will be called out for being a liar. Then again, women wear makeup and other things that conceal their true selves and they are never called out for lying.

Wish you luck and hope to see you here around often. 

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hardshortworker
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Re: How do You Guys Carve an Identity?
post #3

In college I was known as the well-spoken guy, the hard-working guy and the guy with the ripped body. I was in a lot of college organizations and made a lot of connections. I had a few short jokes thrown in my direction, but I was the guy that people respected because I knew my stuff. I make a little over $100K now, and am well-traveled. I can start a conversation with just about anyone. 

You just have to find your niche. 

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James007
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Re: How do You Guys Carve an Identity?
post #4

Be fit, take care of your body, and do what you enjoy. Screw what people say. You are in high school. If you want to wrestle, do it. If you want to play basketball or football, join the team. They can't say no because of your height. It isn't pro sports.

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Larry
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Re: How do You Guys Carve an Identity?
post #5

Quote:

Originally posted by James007

Be fit, take care of your body, and do what you enjoy. Screw what people say. You are in high school. If you want to wrestle, do it. If you want to play basketball or football, join the team. They can't say no because of your height. It isn't pro sports.

LOL You clearly didn't read everything here. I do agree with what you said. Aim to be healthy and do what you love.