Need some clarity on "overcompensation"?

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bigshot888
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Need some clarity on "overcompensation"?
post #1

Why do people insult shorter men as being "overcompensating". Since by definition, shorter men are considered unattractive, wouldn't we need to overcompensate. Isn't this what ugly women do with makeup, flatchested women do with pushup bras and short women do by only dating really tall guys? What is overcompensation and why is it considered a bad thing?

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gymshorts
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Re: Need some clarity on "overcompensation"?
post #2

I think the answer lies in the prefix "over-" 

All of us have to compensate for our lack of height by being faster, brighter, more proactive.  We have to work harder in order to be noticed and appreciated and valued.  That's compensation, and it's normal and it works.  I know over-compensation when I see it-- the short man who is too pushy, too full of himself, too obnoxious.  That's what normal-size and tall people find annoying because it is. 

If we want to be successful in a world in which most of the cards were stacked against us, we all have to learn the very tricky, elusive art of compensating in a noticeable, but not in-your-face, way.  It is an art that takes a lot of savvy, but it's worth it.  For instance, in professional meetings, I have to purposefully plan out what I say and how I say it, so that all the big guys in the room like my ideas, and don't feel that I'm coming on too strong, which would make them feel the need to put me in my place.  I have to charm people with wisdom and grace, not try to take on everyone who's bigger than I am.  If I made the mistake of over-compensating, I would push my ideas hard, and come on strong, and be forceful in my presentation of new ideas. 

Believe me, guys, I learned the hard way.

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heightofprejudice
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Re: Need some clarity on "overcompensation"?
post #3

You guys have to remember this is subjective. For example, many people respect Putin, but others label him with a complex. Who's right or wrong? For some, the moment a short man is not a doormat, they will say he has a chip on his shoulder. Ultimately you'll have to play this by ear and weigh your options, then do what you want.

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ThatFlyShortGuy
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Re: Need some clarity on "overcompensation"?
post #4

On a primal level, people sort others in a hierarchical fashion. This means that people subconsciously sort men by size, looks and perceived status (i.e. wealth). With women, it's purely looks based and then maybe perceived personality.

We all know this whether we want to admit it or not and have to move accordingly. Even if you are 100% genuine, if you attempt to achieve, people will "knock you back" into their carved out place for you in their imagined social hierarchy. 

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