Hey, BrickOdyssey--

I realize these are generalizations, but I can't honestly place myself in either Camp.  Just curious if others found that, too. Here's the deal:

Camp A-type feelings:  every day of my life I wish I were taller - even in the normal range somewhere. I dislike being 5'4" very much. I consider it equal to a deformity.  I can list for you every single way it's a pain in the neck to be of inadequate size in a culture dominated by tall men and the media that glorifies them.  Each day I keep all those thoughts inside myself and say nothing to the people around me.  Basically, it's too late, anyway-- most of my life is over - I'm 62 now.

Camp B-type actions:  I married well and have been happy for 35 years.  I went ahead and did everything in life that normal-size men do: children, home, career, leadership roles. I went beyond that-- I've been on radio and even on TV, and published books.  I've held the lead "president" role in 5 professional organizations.  I am determined to not "lose twice".   Being 5'4" I have automatically lost the first round in life:  I'm not tall enough to compete and win in all the real-men arenas.   Yeah, I may be the bottom face on the totem pole, but I get elected to be top banana all the time because I'm capable and charming and witty and competent.  See, I figure if I go nowhere in my life because of self-pity, then I've lost a second time.  

So, here's the thing-- I'm not content, and don't love my height.  Now, I don't hate or reject tall men, but I can't help but feel intimidated by them sometimes.  I'll never accept it as a good thing.  So, I'm not truly the Camp B mentality, but I refused to give in to the Camp A mentality and let it ruin my whole life, so I've worked around my inadequacy.  I wanted to be successful and not stall out, and I have done that.  Not sure where I fit in.  Anyone else out there like that?  

OK.  To some degree, each answer is valid in its own right, for some men in some situations. 

Being a short male is hard-- that's a universal.  We are dealt a rotten hand in life, physically, and denied a LOT of good things that normal and tall men enjoy every day and totally take for granted.  That's not fair AND you can't change it.  Live with it and work really hard to make the best of it.

A few of us have success stories. I have shared in older posts that my wife has always found me attractive because I have a V-shaped build & big chest, and she fears large men. Period.  I developed the other aspects of myself to be really attractive, valuable, and respected.  No, it wasn't easy.  Yes, I had all the cards stacked against me. So do you.  But if your friends and family and mate and children see you as tough, victorious, smart, honest, generous, kind, positive, and confident they will love and respect you. 

Total strangers will most likely bully you, ignore you, overlook you, and not value you.  Look tough and smile all the time. People don't know how to respond to that.  When I'm in public, I walk briskly like I'm in charge. I carry myself with an aire of authority. And then I smile and act graciously and generously.  Do that and you'll impress people that you are not to be discounted, but that you are also "bigger" when it comes to being kind.

Be prepared.  Don't be caught off guard by the a**hole relative at the family reunion that loves to make fun of you.  Have your response to him planned in advance.  I always do.  Billy the Bully doesn't hassle me anymore after what I said last time.  

Read books and articles about this subject.  Learn all you can from others.

Don't ever talk it about it with someone you don't know well and trust.   Journal about it. Record your thoughts for yourself. 

Basically, it's no one else's life problem and  they don't really care.  Tall guys have NO clue-- don't ever talk about it with them.  They have every advantage in life, and we have a boatload of disadvantages.  The nicest, kindest tall guy is still tall.  He's not the enemy, but he surely cannot feel our pain.  Only one of us can feel our pain-- not a woman or anyone else.  Only another short guy knows the he** of a lifetime spent in a body that everyone else grew out of.  If a tall guy wants to understand, ask him what his adult life would have been like if he had been stuck in the body of a 12-yr old boy the whole time.  He can't imagine it.   

I hope this helps all of you who read it.

I remember a few years ago being at a family get-together with my in-laws.  My wife has an aggressive, controlling, dominating cousin-in-law who feels compelled to point out my size a lot.  Truth be known, he feels intimidated by my intellect, education, publications, wittiness, etc. all of which he lacks.  So, he has it in for me.  I arrived at the party, and right in front of people he slams me about how short I am.  It was a silent moment in the room.  Of course we are all standing at the time.  Arggh.   I glared (up) at him and retorted angrily, "Now that we have the mandatory insult about my height over with, may i enjoy the rest of the day?"  Women gasped.  They had never heard me say something terse and biting like that before.  Ever.  It stopped the conversation dead, and left him reeling.  His wife was ticked at him, to say the least.  I left the room.  He never apologized.  He's never done it since.

To ThatFlyShortGuy-- No, not cheated in the same sense that vision88t meant when he started the thread. 

I'm 61, BTW. 

As I mentioned, many of my cousins, and then their sons and grandsons, have enjoyed normal height.  My own two sons do, too.  So, I just wish I could have not gotten the short end of the stick.    By my measurements of one of my grandsons at age 2.1, he may top out at 5'6" or so, with a taller sister who will probably be 5'8" or 9.  So much of his emotional adjustment hinges on his perceived self-worth.  I work hard to make sure it's going to easier for him to deal with this than my adolescence was for me.  Mine was the perfect trainwreck: an uninvolved, aloof father who did not build a sense of male worth into his sons, a silly, childish mother, insults and teasing from siblings and classmates; essentially I was doomed to have a really bad time accepting and dealing with always being the smallest man in a room. 

Nowadays, I am a successful professional, well-respected, talented, with a lot to be thankful for, including a loving, supportive wife who did NOT want to marry a large man. She purposefully chose a man who was short but had a big chest-- her favorite body build.  So overall, yes, I am blessed and happy. But, no, I have never accepted my lack of size as something good to rejoice in.  It is a physical handicap (in my mind) akin to deformity.  I live around it as best I can. I have succeed in spite of it.  But I could never ever honestly declare being the shortest man in the room almost every single time to be 'neutral' or a 'non-issue among mature professional people', or 'something that nobody but me notices anymore'.  That's ludicrous-- it still stinks.  It always will.  I'm just determined not to let it ruin my life.