Member Profiles: gymshorts
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Recent Posts From gymshorts
I can't say for everybody, but in my experience, it definitely does. Once you're past age 25 people focus on important aspects of a man's life other than height,, and then women start to reconsider. Many women are looking for intimacy, companionship, financial security, a funny soulmate. Once you're 25 years old, women around you begin to realize that the vast majority of them are not going to marry the huge hunk that the media has duped them into believing is a 'must-have' for happiness. Then the field opens up. I have relatives and a few friends who are also in my height range, and all of them found women who totally ignored the height issue, and went for everything else we have to offer. My cousin has two sons who are my height and both of them are handsome, brawny, funny, great young men. And both of them have girlfriends who are crazy about them.
We just married off our last child, which means all three kids are happy, successful, and have great spouses. So, obviously a family group shot of the wedding gets posted on Facebook by a dear friend. And what do you all know happens next? Of course, the dreaded post on the photo for everyone who knows me to read: "Where did your sons get their height from?" I am SOOO glad my sons are not short and therefore not subject to all the lifelong pain we endure. But, the dreaded comment. You know it, right? I have one choice only and that is total silence. My wife made a frivolous comment just to say something, but I know better than to comment. You can probably imagine what I'm thinking and what sarcastic retort is going through my mind. But, silence, my friends, is the best option. Yes, of course, I want to go to that woman's FB page, find a picture of her daughter and post "Where did your daughter get her beauty from?" But of course I never would. It never ceases to amaze me that the comment is not something like, "Wow. three happily married children, that's wonderful." or "Beautiful wedding." or "Everyone was nicely dressed and polite." Nope. It has to be publicly pointing out to all 650 of my FB friends that I'm inadequately sized, like that isn't painfully obvious every moment of my life already.
What about you guys? Surely you must go through this too? Do you also find that silence is the best option? Do you have people jabbing their fingers at print or digital photos and pointing out that you're short. What do you do?
I'm happily married-- for 33 years now-- but to answer this from an early 1980s view, I only dated women shorter than I, or right at my height of 5'4" (163 cm - same as you).
I think the answer lies in the prefix "over-"
All of us have to compensate for our lack of height by being faster, brighter, more proactive. We have to work harder in order to be noticed and appreciated and valued. That's compensation, and it's normal and it works. I know over-compensation when I see it-- the short man who is too pushy, too full of himself, too obnoxious. That's what normal-size and tall people find annoying because it is.
If we want to be successful in a world in which most of the cards were stacked against us, we all have to learn the very tricky, elusive art of compensating in a noticeable, but not in-your-face, way. It is an art that takes a lot of savvy, but it's worth it. For instance, in professional meetings, I have to purposefully plan out what I say and how I say it, so that all the big guys in the room like my ideas, and don't feel that I'm coming on too strong, which would make them feel the need to put me in my place. I have to charm people with wisdom and grace, not try to take on everyone who's bigger than I am. If I made the mistake of over-compensating, I would push my ideas hard, and come on strong, and be forceful in my presentation of new ideas.
Believe me, guys, I learned the hard way.