Just turned 40. This is it.

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AnotherPhase
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Just turned 40. This is it.
post #1

One one hand it's a little depressing, but on the other hand relieving. I watch these gray hairs coming in and see all of the people I grew up with starting families, many of their kids pre-teens and some full grown. I am fortunate. I have been successful career wise, but do know that my height played a huge part in my struggles in dating and advancing in my field through my 20s and 30s.

On the other hand, the divorces and related financial hits that my friends have experienced I have been protected from, all because women don't find me attractive enough to want to partner with.

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minilinebacker
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Re: Just turned 40. This is it.
post #2

Not trying to rain on the parade, but even though 40 is "up there", there are plenty of men I know who did not father their first child until their late 30s and early 40s. 60s is not "too old" to be a grandpa.

Especially with millennials putting off children because of low wages, student loan debt and the inability to save, even at 40, if you were to have a child in 3 years, you'd still be in good company (and more ready financially and mentally if you have your stuff together).

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youngforever
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Re: Just turned 40. This is it.
post #3

Personally, I think 40 is a good age. If you date women in your age bracket (35-45), most of them know what they want (esp if they haven't had kids yet). You on the other hand will know what younger women want, and if you can hang with that, then it's good for both of you.

smiley

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TheDestroyer
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Re: Just turned 40. This is it.
post #4

 A friend of mine (f, 45) recently had a baby with a 24 year old guy. Another friend (m, 46) had a baby with a young woman (f, 28). Anything is possible my friend. Everything doesn't have to be cookie-cutter.

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Re: Just turned 40. This is it.
post #5

Quote:

Originally posted by AnotherPhase

On the other hand, the divorces and related financial hits that my friends have experienced I have been protected from, all because women don't find me attractive enough to want to partner with.

yes Amen

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marshal
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Re: Just turned 40. This is it.
post #6

Quote:

Originally posted by AnotherPhase

On the other hand, the divorces and related financial hits that my friends have experienced I have been protected from, all because women don't find me attractive enough to want to partner with.

It's like my experience. I'm not sure if i would address my height as a reason for having no family or
should i be more concern about my luck? Anyhow, I'm happy now, hard days are over and I am in a less need for a partner. I prefer to spend
my time doing my hobbies and that's like a lot of hobbies I can't get enough time almost always.

 My experience tells me that almost every woman who smiles at my smiles is looking for a financial supporter and she looks back as me she is out of shape with no intention to lose weight and on some other occasions she's looking for more money to get divorce later and join her dreamy man on an easier path. Women don't see
us as a man unless they pass the golden years of youth, so we are not good targets unless we provide money, power and luxury.

You will never be a man in their sights and maybe in a really good situation you will be a cute boy, so what do you expect from a woman who is surrounded by horny tall guys ?
You are so wrong if you think about being confident and being short would do the trick, that definitely doesn't work. It's a myth. We all know.
On the other hand life is not about being married and making children, life is about having fun and being happy.
You make your life.

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marshal
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Re: Just turned 40. This is it.
post #7

As answer to other fellows, i think it's already late to think about having children unless you want to have a teenager about 15 years old at home
when you are in 60s. Have you ever heard about adolescence traumas? I wouldn't do that I were you. Maybe adopting a child is an option, a child which
doesn't carry short genes.

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Re: Just turned 40. This is it.
post #8

I'll be 40 next year, depressing knowing that I am going to have no shot with younger females, not that I really had a shot with them when I was younger, but now unless you are really rich and you can attract a gold digger or pay some girl at a brothel, you are essentialy dead to them, I still look at younger females with desire and I am pretty sure it is not going to go away especially with what they wear nowadays in order to show off their bodies

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ThatFlyShortGuy
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Re: Just turned 40. This is it.
post #9

Quote:

Originally posted by d11221

I'll be 40 next year, depressing knowing that I am going to have no shot with younger females, not that I really had a shot with them when I was younger, but now unless you are really rich and you can attract a gold digger or pay some girl at a brothel, you are essentialy dead to them, I still look at younger females with desire and I am pretty sure it is not going to go away especially with what they wear nowadays in order to show off their bodies

I disagree with this. I know that a lot of men here hate being given the "confidence" talk but it is spot-on correct. Not confidence as some fake badge of honor, but in "not giving a flying crap about what anyone thinks".

There is a man on YouTube who addresses short guy's issues attracting a partner. I will reiterate some of the talking points from that video.

       
  • Not every woman will be into you - For us short guys, it's tougher as we're not a lot of women's type. It just means we have to find the ones who are into us and go for them. 
  •    
  • Don't look for a relationship - Stay on your purpose (hobbies, job, career). Women are the icing on the cake, not essential
  •    
  • Younger women are an option - Don't make her feel like you're her father. Be fly, be into current trends, let her live in her current stage. Don't "discuss the future". Younger women want to live in the moment (dancing at the club, having fun)
  •    
  • Avoid older women looking for a clean up man - Shorter guys are a big target for this one because we're clearance rack items to a lot of women who are tired from the mental gymnastics that guys they found attractive put them through
  •    
  • Nerdiness = Lack of social skills. You can unlearn those. 
  •    
  • Make them feel feminine - Either putting on muscle, being a man of your word or having command of a skill or field

The first point is the most important. You can attract women. You just have to play the game accordingly and treat women not as the panacea to all of your life issues. You have to be comfortable being alone and not require a woman's attention. That's a female trait (being needy).

I am not ignoring heightism and how much more difficult it is for us compared to other men, but we do have a certain level of control. For the women who aren't into us, it is what it is. There are women who not date men with penises less than 8 inches, or men with a certain job, or men of a certain complexion and we can't change their minds. Ignore those and let them be. 

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minilinebacker
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Re: Just turned 40. This is it.
post #10

Attracting younger women isn't as tough as you think it might be. You just need to have your *bleep* together and be in good shape. Be fun and outgoing, not a bore.