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My theory about why women "usually" dislike dating short men in U.S.
It's what I call "social safety"......
My theory is this: young, sexually viable, fertile women value social safety a great, great deal. What is social safety? It's meeting the approval of one's girlfriends and immediate family. Not doing anything to embarrass oneself in front of these people. There is a "sisterhood" amongst female friends that is enormously powerful between the teen years until somewhere in the 30's when women start to become more independent of the opinions of others. Social safety is especially important with college and post-college age women. Women in this age group are ENORMOUSLY concerned about what certain folks think of them and the decisions they make.
And the plain truth is that girlfriends and family get really concerned when a young woman they love is dating a short man.
Nicole Beland, who used to be a relationship/sex expert for Men's Health Magazine, said before her recent marriage partner that her best boyfriend ever was a short guy. He was something like 5-5. He had everything you'd want in a guy, including a killer body. Good lover as well. However, this guy's height was the CONSTANT source of commentary from her girlfriends, her mom and her dad. It just never ended, no matter how many times she asked them to stop, and no matter how many times she spelled out his great qualities. It got to be so bad that she finally had to break up with him. In the end, social safety mattered the most at her age. Instead of telling these people to "F" off, it's none of your business who I date, it was incredibly important what her girlfriends, especially, thought.
That's really where this is coming from. Yes, there maybe some evolutionary psychology components, and the Disney films, romance novels and heartthrob celebs don't help either, but I really feel that "social safety" is the biggest factor in women having a bias against short guys on the dating circle.
I truly feel that beyond all this B.S. that people fall in love who they fall in love with. True love has no boundaries. If you removed the social safety component, I feel you would see more tall girls dating short guys, more interracial dating than ever, lots more equally sized couples, etc.
The GOOD thing is that as females age, they become less concerned with what OTHERS think about their partner. They're more independently minded. When you get to that age, you simply date the man that you love. You also just emotionally mature more....looks matter a little bit less, etc. You may not want kids or can't have them anymore. Bigger questions emerge. Women start thinking: "Is this the kind of man who would stand by me if I developed breast cancer?" "How emotionally supportive would he be if I lost my beloved mother?" 23 year old chicks from New York City who are living 3 to an apartment off of daddy's money don't care about these questions. To them, life is eternal.
Also, those NYC women are remarkably ignorant. They should realize how many more heterosexual single men there are compared to heterosexual single women in NYC. There are 3 single women for every single guy in Manhattan. According to most studies, 1/3 of NYC Manhattan single guys are gay, and a lot of other guys work all night and day and don't have time for a relationship or are already in relationships. A single woman in Manhattan cannot afford to be that choosy, which probably explains why the city is more amenable to casual hookups than real relationships. It's one of the reasons why I hate shows like "Sex In the City" and so on. NYC (specifically Manhattan) is unlike any city in the nation. It couldn't be anymore different than San Francisco, Omaha or Houston.
That being said, I would like to recognize that Mexican-American ladies and many other women of a Hispanic background seem to be less concerned about a man's height than women from other cultural backgrounds. It's probably because their Dad's tend to be short. The last two women I seriously dated were Latinas (I am white). Both of their parents in each case were shorter than 5-4. In fact, one woman's Dad was two inches shorter than his wife. Now both of these Latinas were first generation Americans, so they weren't totally immersed in a culture that told them that dating short guys was bad.
Anyway, I have more things I could talk about, including a big rant I have against sperm banks who don't seem to realize that 35% of all men are short, and that a percentage of them are infertile and would like to have a child with their spouse that resembles them and not some 6-2, blonde, North European stud...........
5 foot 3 guy,feel depressed after going through so much discrimination
All the way from childhood people thought I was supposed to just grow taller, as I grow older say 16-17 people found it odd I was still this height. I've gone through bouts of depression throughout the years, I'm 22 at the moment and although I've gotten through some serious times dealing with obesity due to how insecure I felt and lost the weight. I still can't help but feel held back through no fault of my own. These past few months I've felt extremely confident, I used to weigh 190lbs (82kg). At several points in my life I considered suicide. I am now 130lbs, I cycle 2x a week and go gym 2x a week, progressing fairly slightly slower than expected but fairly well. Even though I've gone through all this, built this confidence, it gets shattered as soon as I realize that instead of applauding you, people just bring you down. Family, friends and people who you try to ask out... This isn't a story to gain pity from anyone here, I'm sure you all have experienced similar descrimination throughout your life. I ask you though, why does it feel that everything you try to accomplish just goes unnoticed by everyone?
Most important of all is the general perception from women I get all the time, the thing that grinds my gears the most is when I'm told "you're too short". Why, why is this a deal breaker for women? I find this to be such a disgusting statement to make, why is that they are allowed to put me down due to something I cannot control but when I mention their weight, they turn into aggressive hateful beasts?
I felt the need to put this out there as to get it off my chest. I guess there's nothing I can do about my height, just feels bad being dealt such a harsh card in life.
I've never figured this out. They say an Asian size is 2 sizes smaller than an American size? So I ordered an L and it barely fits. Certainly Asians aren't THAT much smaller. How does it work?
I read in a guide by the Modest Man that wearing monochromatic clothing gives the illusion of being taller and on other sites that two or two toned is the way to go. What is your honest opinion?
Anyone have problems finding a good tee? Like even size small goes too low below the belt and sometimes there's too much space around the torso. Where do you guys buy your tees?
Manga series "Attack On Titan" portrays short guys as "cool"
Gotta love Anime. They tend to portray short guys as the "cool underdog" unlike a lot of media in the west which portrays shorter guys as insecure, pathetic and unattractive. Mega points for this cool chart of their characters.
Love Connection host says he learned that women are mean to short men
Ever see the new remake of the 70s and 80s Love Connection show? Host Andy Cohen said in an interview with Entertainment Weekly that he discovered that women are "mean" to short men in his first season of hosting the show. I'll include a link to the interview below:
From the article
The couples are also asked to score each other’s looks. “I reveal to them how they scored each other,” says Cohen, who shot the 15-episode season during a weeklong hiatus from his Bravo talk show Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen. “Women are really mean to short men — that’s one thing I’ve learned.”
Interview with 5'6 Real Estate agent who went to 5'10 with LL surgery
BBC Podcast
Richard also talks to Thomas Keeper, an estate agent, who recently spent £35,000 on a surgical procedure to extend his legs pushing his height from 5ft 6in to 5ft 10in.
Short men need fashion love, too. The big and tall have their own specialty clothing stores, as do the plus-size, while guys the size of Daniel Radcliffe (5-foot-5), Tom Cruise (5-7) or Bruno Mars (also 5-7) may find themselves pawing through the offerings in the boys’ department.
But in March, the men’s wear brand Peter Manning, which designs for guys 5-8 and under, expanded its online business and opened a store in Manhattan. Located on the third floor of a building in the Flatiron district, the shop has a discreet presence at street level, as if to acknowledge the mild embarrassment its customers may experience on their way in and out.
Why is that whenever I read articles in print and online or hear people talk about shorter people in person, they always undercut a man's accomplishments by pointing out his lack of stature?
"I am a Navy Seal, have completed 10 successful missions, am decorated and have the respect of my entire unit."
But you're short!
"I play 28 instruments, have toured on 6 continents, have products bearing my name and have 2 platinum records"
But you're short!
"I have a black belt, have won 40 tournaments, am undefeated and have fought guys both big and small"
But you're short!
"I have a Masters Degree and two PhD in STEM related disciplines"
But you're short!
This has the be the most annoying most widely accepted view that no matter how much a man has accomplished, it means diddly squat if he is short. Being short is promoted like it is some irredeemable quality. I have been around associated in a social situations and heard this and even with women I've dated. I could say almost all with the exception of one has bought this up. Can you imagine if a woman said:
"I just finished my bachelors in molecular biology"
and then I responded, "but you have small breasts"
Any woman would be livid over such a statement.
After hearing this often if enough, it rots you from the core. I have friends who never suggest me as a potential date for their female associates because I am the "short one". I'm at the point where even if I met someone nice, I'd have this at the back of my head.
Confidence comes from previous successes. If you are someone who doesn't have many successes, how are you going to be confident? Why is that people tell short guys who don't do well in dating to "be confident"? For what? Why not just admit that a lot of women are attracted to men they find attractive FIRST, then they look for "confidence"?
It would make more sense to tell short guys to be amazing at whatever it is that they do. Be the best skier, be amazing at playing the piano, be an amazing student. That type of confidence is reassurance in your strengths, but as a means to attract women? "Be confident"? What the hell does that mean?
Wow @ this reddit post about being ditched on a date because of height
This is a post from reddit. I'll link it below the copied/pasted text from the post:
Random girl found me on FB...
I'm a musician and she claimed to be "super into music" so I took her to see Chevelle at the Upstate Concert Hall in Clifton Park NY.
Her first words to me after meeting in person were "Wow...I didn't think you were that short!"
(I'm 5'6", she's looked to be 5'3"-5'4")
So we hang out at the bar for the opening acts and it's clear to me that she's not interested by the way she's throwing back shots and blabbering on about how hot the bouncer was...
"Seriously...Did you see his muscles?!"
Me: Yea...He's a big guy...
"He's gotta be at least 6'4"!"
Me: Most likely...
"I would let him do whatever he wants to me!"
Me: Seems like the kinda guy who would end up raping someone.
"You can't rape the willing"
Chevelle goes on and she's into it, but tells me she's going to the bathroom and disappears...
Concert's over and she's nowhere to be found...
I'm texting her and she finally gets back to me..
"Hey...I met this other guy outside and he offered to let me stay at his house...You probably think I'm a real bitch but I can't settle for someone I know I can do better than...I'm sure you'll find someone eventually ;)"
That was 2014 and I haven't been on a date since
On a positive note, Chevelle put on an amazing show!
You literally can't make stuff like this up. The reddit post is here: here
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