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I read this on reddit and it made me think. He has a point. I mean, not to bash us or anything but a woman really shouldn't be called shallow for seeking traits she wants in a life partner. Thoughts?
"Discriminating about height in romance isn't a shallow thing. That's a permanent trait & therefore longterm realism in action.
It's not like being put off by crooked teeth, the name of someone's fave band or even the lack of an education
It would be shallow not to get past the crooked teeth because they're not necessarily forever.
But getting somebody of the wrong height is something that's seen down the generations. Can't be escaped. It isn't "shallow" to take a pass on something so far-reaching."
rich, young, attractive 5'9" man too short to find dates
a comment from the below article about dating:
"Side note: I have a personal connection to this issue. My nephew (28) lives in NYC, he’s good looking (yes, he is), in excellent shape, has a PhD in Comp Sci and banks 270K+/yr. He would totally relate to this article because it’s utter hell for him to sustain (much less even get) the attention of girls his age. So, what’s his problem? He’s “only” 5-9. An extenuating problem is his limited dating experience, having been committed to education up until three or so years ago, but he’s fixing that. Every time we discuss this subject, he reminds me how the girls flat out tell him them they want someone taller. He even tries to make light of it by saying he’s a solid member of the “invisibles” club but I can see it hurts him deeply."
My boyfriend and I have been talking on deeper levels lately and he basically flat-lined me with this one....
He said he does not want to have kids because he does not want to risk having a son who will grow up short and struggle with the same issues he has. I didn't even know what to say. I went into the other room and cried because I want kids.
Has anyone ever said they didn't want to have kids do to height? I am curious here.
Your Issues With Dating Shorter Men Are Misogynistic
Degree 180, 12/30/2015
As a short girl, I couldn’t care less about Short Girl Appreciation Day (which occurred recently). However, if I am going to be appreciated for my height then shorter guys ought to be appreciated for theirs as well, because it’s the height we are appreciating, right?
Wrong. And herein lies the double standard.
It’s okay for women to be short. It’s normal and cute. A short man? Nope, not cute or normal. According to societal standards, a short man is non-masculine and odd. It isn’t uncommon to see men make fun of other men for their height based on the assumption that, somehow, a man lacks masculinity if his height is below average, and, in some cases, even average height is looked down upon.
Women, essentially, ostracize short men for their inability to dominate them (not all women, thankfully). Think about it. Many women want a tall man who can presumably protect them and, simply, stand over them. Because being loomed over and subjugated by a man’s height is so cute (sarcasm).
There, of course, is nothing wrong with being attracted to tallness or with wanting to be personally dominated. However, there is something wrong with valuing all men for their ability to dominate others.
Boys, young men, and grown men alike are esteemed for their “masculinity,” meaning they are esteemed for their power. Their dominance. Their ability to win. They are respected if they win at sports (a.k.a. defeat other men), if they never cry (a.k.a. don’t feel), if they attract many women (have sex with, rape, or dominate women), if they make a lot of money (assert their superiority over others). They are valued for their muscles, their aggression, and their indifference.
If a man breaks a woman’s heart, he has won a trophy. He has been told this is okay because it is not okay to feel. If a man cries, he is ridiculed because only women are allowed to cry. If he has no money, he is a failure because money is success and the mind is nothing. If he beats another man, he gains greatness. If he helps his team win a game, he is honored.
Discrimination against men is real and it took a silly Short Girl Appreciation Day for me to be able to explain this. Because women face a much worse, institutionalized sexism, we often ignore this discrimination against men. We focus on the bigger issues. But if you think about it, discrimination against men and misogyny are not the completely separate issues that we tend to think. In fact, recognizing and facing this discrimination against men could actually help defeat misogyny.
Each week, we take two New Yorkers who swear they're totally undateable, and put our matchmaking skills to the test. Afterward, we find out what went well on their date, and what went horribly, horribly wrong.
Why they're single:
Rui: Moved to New York from Japan last spring, so hasn’t had a chance to meet new people and is still learning English. Jacob: His work is pretty consuming and requires nights and weekends, but he’s working to make more time.
First impression
Rui: “He was wearing a suit, and he looked like a gentleman and a businessman. He’s nice, but it didn’t feel romantic. My type is taller than me, and he was shorter.”
Jacob: “They sat her first and delivered me to her, almost like a Bachelor episode. She was pretty and nicely dressed. She had a formal way about her but was very cordial.”
Chemistry
Rui: “We talked about our jobs, parents and where we’ve been. We found a mutual favorite restaurant in Astoria, but I didn’t feel like I wanted to go there with him.”
Jacob: “This is her first year in America, so a lot of the initial conversation was about what made her want to come to New York. But there was never a void in conversation.”
Awkward Moment
Rui: “His way of eating food is a little too messy. He spilled a lot of things on the table—dessert, bread, meat. It seemed he didn’t care about that, so I didn’t say anything.” Jacob: “She asked when my last long-term relationship was and how long it lasted, which is a fairly forward thing to ask on a first date. I guess I was a little taken aback.”
Take notes from actor Poe Dameron. This woman in tall but he is not intimidated in the least. He asserts power while making her feel feminine. That is key if you want to date taller women.
last one for now-this one is brand new being written only a few days old aago by a lady who really gets it-the final 2 scentences are excellent imo (speaking to women):
"So can we all just shut up and get over our height hang-ups? I understand that everyone has their preferences, but there is a fine line between preferences and prejudices. Find it."
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